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Showing posts from January, 2017

The more you change the less you feel.

Do not give equal weight to the voices in your life. (Or in your head, for that matter!)
Some of us may be quite fortunately surrounded by friends and family who love us and demonstrate that love by speaking words of kindness to us. However, it would be ignorant to think that all are so fortunate. Regardless, even those of us who feel adequately loved by others are partially captive to the double-edged sword that is the tongue. One of my favorite and most convicting scriptures is, "the words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing" (Proverbs 12:18). At times, I have felt my heart sliced and diced by this weapon. Here are some of its mightiest moves:

You need ___________. 
You're the type of person who _______.
You struggle with ____________. 
You should really work on __________.
You always/never do __________.
You're not very good at __________. 

Previously, as people's opinions of me exited their lips and entered my ears, I rare…

You will find you've looked for a sign up above, but He was there in the dirt where you stood.

I want God to uproot this from my heart. I said those words recently. Out loud. After I said them, I was immediately met with Counselor's voice, speaking words to me along these lines,
"You already have everything that you need to do it yourself." For the sake of clarity, what I so badly wanted God to "uproot" at the time was this: my dependency upon attention, acceptance, and affirmation from others. (I'll write about this developed dependency another time, but for now, please bear with me.) And, I will not lie. In that moment, my internal response to Counselor's comment was not acceptance and understanding. It also was not offense or resistance. It was, however, a feeling of confusion. Why didn't he understand that I have no control over this issue? This has plagued me my whole life, and I have prayed over and over again that God would help me to overcome it; but I still feel powerless to it. How can I possibly have everything I need to do it my…

Let's go back, back to the beginning.

In true new year's fashion, I have spent the past few days cleaning up and cleaning out my house. Clothes, toys, books, and decor were purged. Trash bags were filled, tied, and delivered to their appropriate destinations. I sat in my candlelit living room at the end of my conquests and basked in the glory of the de-clutter. Sadly, there is still plenty left to do.

But, there's a saying that has been circulating social media (and life) these days: "If you don't love it, get rid of it." I guess whoever is behind marketing this idea is doing a pretty good job because I couldn't wait to begin this de-cluttering process in my own life. I eagerly grabbed items off of shelves and walls that I knew I didn't love. A sense of relief swept over me as I removed the "unlovable" items from my presence and rearranged those I deemed "lovable." While I organized and reorganized the "lovables", this thought replayed in my head: "I can'…

I think it's gonna be a good year.

Hello, 2017!I think you know what's happening here. At the risk of seeming cliché, I have resolved to start blogging again this year. YAY! 😊 To my former readers (all four of you), this may cause you to cringe. To my current readers, you may already be bored. Nonetheless, I will attempt to press onward in my efforts to use this blog as an outlet for the duration of this year. I have come to the conclusion that, despite the fears and insecurities that would paralyze me from typing these very words, writing is always beneficial to me. And, even if I am the only person who experiences this blog, then it will still be worth writing. 

That being said, I won't bore you (or myself) with an exceedingly lengthy first-post. I will, however, give a glimpse into what my life looks like right now - in 2017.
My Life (2017) I am 30 years old and not-so-anxiously awaiting my 31st birthday at the end of this month. Husband just turned 35 years old last month. Sheesh.Husband and I also celebrate…